I think I'm going to look into employment at Blackwater, but I don't know. Kind of scary, and I'm not sure I've got the right stuff. I'm not on the juice. I'd definitely need to bulk up. They'd probably expect me to have some sort of weapons or special forces training, and I don't have that. The least I can do is spend some time getting tagged by some fourteen-year-olds with paintballs. The bottom line: I need to build on my skills. I've got to start pumping some iron, but that takes a lot of time.
I've wielded a b.b. gun once, and I tried to take out a wounded robin red-breast with a shovel, but that was a mercy-kill attempt, and I couldn't really finish the job, so that technically wouldn't count. They'd probably see right through me, even without mentioning the robin red-breast part. Maybe if I wore one of those flak jackets Blackwater sells from its online store. Hmm. Not bad. It might look like I'm all business. I should also rent a Hummer, maybe park it on the curb. My dad always said to make a statement. What I really need is that Hummer I saw the other day, which had XTREME2 license plates. I could show up to the interview all pissed off about how I was actually really more extreme than I appear, but you wouldn't know it because the DMV said XTREME1 was already taken.
